I would really like to know how you do it? I am having a very hard time trying to figure out the fine line between teaching my children to take care of their things and at the very same time teaching them that things aren't important. Should I just be concentrating on one of these principles and then focus on another when their older? What to do?
Charlie is in to destroying things which is maybe just part of being a boy but it sure does get frustrating.
I would say that my sister Debi did this well. (I guess you need to comment here Deb) Her children are so respectful but certainly don't place a high value on their "stuff".
Is anything specifically working for you out there? Am I trying to accomplish too much at too young of an age? Do I just keep going with what I've got and they'll figure it out when their older? Seriously help.
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Please do share the answer when you find it! I was thinking about the very same thing the other day. One thing that came to mind was that we work hard to earn those things and while stuff isn't important, respecting the hard work that goes into having stuff is important. How to teach that I have no idea. So, to make a long comment longer, if you get some great advice please share!
Don't think so hard. Teach Charlie that God gave us everything--the things that grow outside, and the things we have inside. We want to take care of everything, to show him how grateful we are to have them. Heavenly Father loves us, so let's love him back by keeping our things/house/whatever he's breaking, nice and clean like the temple. Focus on Gratitude.
KImber,
My thought was that we get our children quality things and then make sure they understand that it is the only one they may have. If they don't take care of it, they may never get another one. Then don't be to fast to replace something that gets broken through neglect. Sometimes things break because of poor quality and they need to learn the difference of that. This is just an idea. Let them wear and play with not so nice things that they don't take care of so they can appreciate the difference.
I don't know if that made sence, but hopefully it will help a little. Let them play with the cardboard refrigerator box and make things themselves with nails and hammers etc. They will learn to appreciate the things they make more than anything you can buy.
Love
Jenny
Let's face it! You're a more experienced mom than me, so I was hoping to get some answers from you because I am TOTALLY in the same dilemma plus some!
Okay, I just read some great comments. Now for the test...
I used to take things away from them or have them replace with their own money. I remember Brady writing in a Hymn book at church. We made him use his own money to buy a new one to replace the one he ruined. He didn't do that again! We need to teach respect for other's belongings. If it is his own toy, no replacement from you! He will learn with time.
I'm with what everyone else is saying. The important thing is to teach kids to be respectful and appreciate the "stuff" no matter how big or small, cheap or expensive. Then hopefully you have kids who are polite at other peoples houses too (not jumping on couches,etc.). I don't really know how to teach them tough. When the girls throw their toys all over just bcause they are looking for something I will take all the toys away for 2 days that they threw on the floor. It only took one time and Adie learned the lesson. Perhaps some variation on that would work with your little kiddies!
Not there yet with Tate. One thing my mother did with us that paid off huge for her: My mom made a list of chores in addition to the ones we were expected/assigned to do. Each chore had a certain point/monitary value. If we did the chore in addition to the chore we were assigned, we would receive the money/points and were able to "buy" our own stuff with that money/credit. I never got an allowance. She taught me that the chores I did were to pay for my food etc... This was a little later on in my life. I was not Charlie's age. It worked well for me to teach me the value of money. I learned to take care of my stuff because I learned how much it took to get it. Maybe something like this would work?
Thanks for bringing this to my to-do mommy list!!! If you find any tricks that work let me know. I do like the Gratitude comment...I will try and start with that.
well, since i am such a more experienced mother than you (what like 12+ months or something) That it gets easier when their 5 almost 6. I am constantly thinking what a great kid John is, but he went through all that too. Oh, and most of the time it's a phase, whenever I get frustrated with John, I take a minute to remember he is just going through something and needs a little extra time or something. Oh, and breaking things or destroying things is totally a boy thing, I still sometimges just give John a pair of siccors and some paper and let him go to town, it gets a little bit of that destruction hormone released. Anyway now that I have imparted all my wisdom to you, let me know how it all pans out. Oh this is JoAnn by the way, I just realized I was signed in under Jake
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